(The following true story is Part 2 of the "Dear Howard Stern, please put me on your show..." promotional compaign.)
One day, I found an ad for a swingers' club. This seemed like the perfect solution to my problem (finding strangers to have sex with), and I became very excited by the idea. My image of what happens at a swinger's club came from a 1970's issue of Playboy magazine that I had secretly perused as a kid. I called the swingers' club, and it was explained to me that it was for couples only. So I spent the next few weeks trying to talk all the women I knew into going with me. I finally managed to persuade a fellow film student, arguing that it would be an interesting adventure and that we didn't have to have sex with anyone if we didn't want to.
We drove to a suburban house in the San Fernando Valley. My mind was filled with fantasies of nubile sexually-voracious co-eds. The door opened, and we were greeted by an overweight middle-aged couple. They ushered us inside, and introduced us to a half-dozen other overweight middle-aged couples, all drinking martinis and telling dirty jokes. Neither of us was even remotely attracted to anyone there, so we locked ourselves in a room and just talked for an hour, and then left precipitously. It was one of my most vivid experiences of the radical disparity between sexual fantasy and sexual reality.
posted by Caveh Zahedi at
12:59 PM
