I just read your incredibly insightful and illuminating review of my film, I Am A Sex Addict. Wow, you sure can write. And I really like that picture of you on your blog. You look just like James Garner, except even hipper. You seem so smart, I can't even imagine how anybody could be that smart. I mean, wow.
You're absolutely right (you are such a wise person!) when you write: "Most irritating is the notion that Zahedi's effort here is one of some kind of raw honesty." You know, you found me out. I wasn't being honest at all. In fact, I made all that stuff up about having sex with prostitutes. I've actually never been to a prostitute. I've only read about it in books. I just thought it would make me popular with the girls.
I also really thought you hit the nail on the head when you wrote: "He's horny, charming, and not particularly physically attractive." It's true! I'm not particularly physically attractive. You noticed! I'm not nearly as physcially attractive as Tom Cruise for instance. And, judging by your photo, I'm not nearly as physically attractive as you either. Or James Garner whom you so uncannily resemble.
But here's the really brilliant part. You write:
"Ironically, what Zahedi seems to see as sophisticated, progressive filmmaking is, to me, an old, mediocre Woody Allen script as told by a guy who feels free to make most of the movie about the dirty parts of Allen's movies that we never actually see."
Now that is insightful! In fact, I did take an old Woody Allen script (I chose a mediocre one so nobody would notice, but of course, you noticed!). And I did to the Woody Allen script what Tom Stoppard did to "Hamlet" in "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead." I took all the parts that we never actually see, and I showed those parts. You are so perceptive! You are the first critic to point out the Woody Allen connection. You have an eye like an eagle, and a mind like a steel trap.
Or this prose gem: "It is not Godard." How true! The film was not directed by Jean-Luc Godard. How did you know?
But this is the most insightful comment of all:
"Unfortunately, you can't blame the low budget for all of the clunkiness of some of his set pieces in which he is trying to execute recognizable bits he has clearly watched for decades on TV and film."
That's so true. Everything in my movie is from something I saw on TV. In fact, that's how I wrote the script. I tried to remember all of my favorite TV shows, and just cobbled together my favorite moments from each one. It's actually really easy. You just need to have watched a lot of TV as a kid, which I did.
Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for getting it right. You are the best film reviewer I have ever read, and you seem to me to have an encyclopedic knowledge not only of film (you really hit the nail on the head with that Godard reference), but of the arts and sciences in general. I only hope that I can be as smart as you one day, and I wish to God (I know this is not possible, but I wish it were) that I were as physically attractive as you.
Keep up the fantastic work. I plan to read all of your future reviews with enthusiasm and, dare I say, reverence.
Also, I wanted to thank you for being so honest about your own sex addiction. That was incredibly honest and courageous of you, and I salute you for it. I only wish I were as honest and courageous as you.
Maybe in my next film.
posted by Caveh Zahedi at
4:06 PM
